It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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