My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My room smells like vodka and shame
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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