dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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