Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize