i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
