Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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