just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
