Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
