I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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