Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
