I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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