honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
