I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
