But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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