So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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