if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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