I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
