My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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