32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
