just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
