As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My bed smells like the plague
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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