I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
try to milk me bitch
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