u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
