Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
