i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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