I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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