you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
