You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
