with your own penis?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
