It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
