So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
