She is in my trunk
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Randomize
