So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
