i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
