please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize