Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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