My liver just broke up with me...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Tornado booty call.. dedication
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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