So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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