this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
