you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
