I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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