we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
