It's like God shit irony all over that family
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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