pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
