i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
