why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
