Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
