I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
