You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
