Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
