I should be sponsored by Trojan
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
