either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He better not be in your backpack
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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