the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's always time for handjobs
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
