I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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