i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
